Sunday, October 7, 2007




Mysteries Of The Sexes

Women Wonder...
* Why men think women are bad drivers, even though they have been presented with evidence to the contrary, time and again.

* Why the best perfumes for women inevitably carry a man's name - be it Yves, Ralph or Hugo.

* Why everyday cooking continues to be a woman thing... even if he's a five-star chef!

* Why men still stop and stare at a woman reading a financial paper.

* Why our 'Main Man' strenuously objects to our wearing clothes that bare (the tiniest bit of) our flesh, while drooling over precisely the same clothes worn by other women.

* Why men like Steven Seagal. Or Wesley Snipes.

* Why men never listen to a woman properly. Despite a gazillion books written on this very subject.

* Why men need to be Freemasons. Is it really all that different from Enid Blyton's Secret Seven club?

* Why men can get by in virtually any button-down shirt and Dockers while women need to power dress. And power dress unobtrusively, elegantly and classically, at that.

* Why men wage war. Really, surely there are other, less harmful ways to flex one's muscle?

Men Wonder... * Why women need to talk things over so much and so many times!

* Why match-fixing talk leaves women cold beyond a point.

* Why they think stripes and checks don't go well together. No male seeing this adventurous combination has winced or shielded his eyes. So, what is it with women?

* Why they drool over unkempt twerps like Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise. Is a few days' stubble and creased cargo pants all it takes to have women swooning?

* Why they insist on commitment in the form of a wedding band, just when things are going swimmingly. Real spoilsports, they can be.

* Why women think disguising their femininity makes them more effective. The moment a woman walks into a room, she affects all the men present in one way or another. That's a fact.

* Why women think that coming on strong with a man is a less-than-excellent idea. I mean, do you ever hear men using terms like 'fast or loose' when talking of a woman?

* Why women loathe Eminem.

* Why women need to stop and ask for directions at every bend in a strange road rather than trying to find their way themselves. And if one gets lost, well, all too often, it's because the little woman in the pass-enger seat cannot read maps properly.

* How women always smell so dashed good.

Men And Women Agree About... * The power and beauty of a Harley Davidson motorbike.

* The experience of listening to your favourite performer live in concert.

* The fact that stilettos are the sexiest thing on two heels!

* That any shade of pink, is not every man's colour, unless he is Milind Soman or Arjun Rampal.

* That the search for Ms or Mr Right can be great fun.

* That love is a many splendoured thing!

Online Safety Tips

You spot this really cute guy online. Few mails and messenger chats later, he’s captured your attention, totally and completely. Before you take a step further, Stop! And read through our safety tips. It’s better to exercise caution now than repent later.

Slow And Steady Wins the Race. Remember this age old adage? Go by it, because it makes much sense. Begin by first communicating solely via email. Be on the lookout for inconsistencies or eccentricities of behaviour. Watch out for someone who seems too good to be true. ‘Listen’ to your correspondent’s words. The person at the other end may not be who or what s/he says. Trust your instincts. If anything makes you uncomfortable end the communication immediately, because it’s nothing less than your safety that we are talking about.

Stay Anonymous. A little bit of mystery helps in every relationship. And in online dating it might even save your life! The ground rule of Cyber Dating is – do not reveal any personal information/ contact number or address under any circumstance. Make sure your email signature file is turned off. Never respond from your personal email address which might have your name or surname in it. Create a user id other than your genuine name say for e.g. Take all the time you need to become comfortable with your correspondent before revealing any contact information. Ask questions and make sure you are satisfied with the answers. Trust your instincts, move cautiously and be selective.

Be Smart. Online Dating requires you to be in tune with what the surfer is saying. Be quick on your uptakes. Being innocent, gullible and vulnerable is not going to work in your favour. Any prospective suitor must earn your trust gradually, through consistent, honourable, forthright behaviour. Don’t fall in love at the click of a mouse. Don’t become prematurely intimate with someone, even if that intimacy only occurs online.

Exchange Photographs. It’s a good idea to view several photographs of your online date before becoming extremely familiar with the other. That helps give a clear face to the person you are interacting with. Viewing photos may also prove helpful in achieving a gut feeling about your correspondent.

Talk on the Telephone. Have known your cyber date for a considerable period of time? Feel secure and comfortable with him? If you feel ready then, maybe you can take the relationship a step further and exchange numbers. Communicating via phone can reveal plenty about a person’s nature and social skills. Protecting your security is worth the cost of the call.

Meet ONLY when YOU Are Ready. Meeting has to be your decision. And you have to be sure about it. Take your time, get to know the person and only then take a plunge. Go with your gut feeling, even when they cannot be logically explained.

Watch out for Red alerts. Pay attention to displays of anger, intense frustration or attempts to pressurize or control you. Acting in a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or disrespectful comments or any physically inappropriate behaviour are all red flags. You should be concerned if your date exhibits any of the following without an acceptable explanation:
• Offers inconsistent information about age, interests, appearance, marital status, job, etc.
• Refuses to speak to you on the phone even after ongoing online intimacy.
• Fails to give direct answers to direct questions.
• Appears significantly different in person from his/ her online persona.
• Never introduces you to friends, colleagues or family members.

Meet in a safe place. When you choose to meet offline, always keep a friend informed about your whereabouts. Leave your dates name and contact number with a friend. Never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Meet up in an open public place during the day, avoid shady areas. A familiar restaurant, pub or a coffee shop, at a time when a lot of other people will be present, is often a good choice. If you decide to move to another location and are driving, take your own car. When the timing is right, thank your date for getting together and say goodbye.

Take extra caution outside your area. If you are travelling to another city or town for the date, arrange for your own car and hotel room. Do not disclose the name of your hotel and never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Rent a car or take a taxi on arrival direct to your hotel. Call your date from the hotel or meet at the location you have already agreed to. Always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and has your contact information. If possible carry a mobile phone at all times.

Be PROACTIVE not REACTIVE . If you are in any way afraid of your date, use your best judgment to diffuse the situation and get out of there. Excuse yourself long enough to call a friend for advice, ask someone else at the scene for help or slip out of the back door and get away. If you feel you are in danger, call the police; it's always better to be safe than sorry. Never worry or feel embarrassed about your behaviour; your safety is much more important than one person's opinion of you.
All this in place. Be yourself. Go ahead and have a wonderful time!

Do Opposites Attract?

With the no-nonsense zing of the phrase “I do,” humans often seek in a spouse the sort of person they know best: themselves, says a new study. Beautiful people want beautiful partners.

The well-heeled covet Prada-clad companions. Those who are devoted to kith and kids expect no less from the person who adorably snores beside them each night.

And while the notion that like-seeks-like may not surprise anybody who has scanned the newspaper wedding announcements, the new results contradict some important claims about male-female differences in mating strategies that lately have emanated from the niche of neo-Darwinism called evolutionary psychology.

According to one widely touted premise of the field, men are comparatively more concerned with the physical appearance of their partners, while women tend to fixate on the relative wealth and ambitiousness of their suitors. Yet the new report, by Dr. Stephen T. Emlen, a professor at Cornell, and his former student Dr. Peter M. Buston, offers scant support for the chasmic divide between the romantic algorithms of men and women.

Instead, in analyzing the results of a questionnaire about who wants what in a long-term relationship, the researchers found that the men who were most likely to seek beauty in a woman were not the trust-fund sons, but those men who considered themselves quite handsome; while men who rated themselves as wealthy and ambitious were much likelier to focus on the wealth and status of a prospective mate than on her physical charms.

Similarly, women who viewed themselves as attractive ranked the toothsomeness of a potential husband above the particulars of his stock portfolio; while women from privileged backgrounds wanted a groom who knew the purpose and position of all four forks in a formal table setting.

“People seem to be looking for soul mates on many levels, and that makes adaptive sense,” said Dr. Emlen in a telephone interview. “Peter and I are evolutionary biologists, so we’re both interested in why people would have rules that essentially say, seek someone who is like yourself on many of the things you value.

“Well, if you do, you’ll end up with a compatible mate, and less conflict in the relationship, and a better chance of a long-term bond and successful child rearing."

The findings, which are to be published this month in The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, were based on a survey of 978 heterosexual residents of Ithaca.
(NYT News Service)

Asking Him Out

He smiles at you everytime he strolls by, which even you realize is ever so often. You get brillaint vibes everytime you stop by to chat up with him. And to top it all, you find him extraordinarily cute! So wheres the hitch? He hasent yet asked you out! ...don't hesitate. Just ask him!

Be refreshingly different: Theres no rule that only guyz have to ask women out! In fact it’s a refreshing change and very very flattering when the women take on the rather brave act of doing the ‘asking out’! so if that cute guy has been eying you for a long while, don’t wait for him to muster the nerve...just walk up and dazzle him!
Guyz are shy, too: Hes given you all the right signs, juggles his working hours to try and spend most of his breaks with you, and it shows that he enjoys talking to can take it from there. Proabbly he’s shy and fears a refusal!
But he’s you Best friend?! Fret not. This is just about perfect. With a strange guy you still probably have to tred a wee bit cautiouslly, but with a guy into whos ears you can whisper your darkest secrets, hey that’s as good as it gets! Don’t worry about loosing your friendship if things don’t work out, cause if your friendship is true, things will not change -- he's not going to hurt you, or hate you, or stop being your friend.Think about it!
1 2 3 ...Go! The million dollar Q- how in Gods name do you ask? Remember, if you plan too hard you'll end up sounding pretentious and phoney. And that’s the last thing you want! The best possible way is to be yourself, that ways you’ll be comfortable and confident.
Life is all about decisions. Frost aptly summed it

’Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less travelled by,
And that has made all the difference.’

If you want something real bad, you have to strive to get it. So that years down, when you look back it should be - I wanted something and I tried to get it . In the end that’s really all that matters. So, pucker up, brush those hairs and take the plunge.

Writing an Effective Personal Ad

It’s very frequent that users write in saying, "I never get any replies to my ad!" It’s my earnest request that they sit back and objectively, at least once, scrutinize their Ad from a surfer’s perspective. Does your Online profile have anything to make any surfer stop and take a second look? Human nature is no different online than it is offline. Spot an attractive face and you turn to take a second look...see a humorous punch line and you invariably stop to read. So it really boils down to whether you have put in the right amount of effort while making your profile because if you have not, then that’s exactly the kind of replies you’ll get – none!

Some helpful tips for writing an effective Personal Ad:

INVESTMENT. Be it your time or money. This is a stand you have to take. If you cannot spend either or both, you really shouldn’t bother because an incomplete, half done profile is like an uncooked dish, very unappetizing. Online Dating is all about making a good first impression because once someone clicks to the next profile, there’ll be no second chance.

OPENING LINE. Splatter your profile with humour, drama, funky they draw instant attention and interest. You have barely 2 minutes before a surfer clicks to the next profile if not intrigued to read yours!

HONESTY. Lies can never be the root of a strong relationship; those based on it will eventually crumble. Being honest portrays you as a better human being which down the line is the only important thing. Are you married? If yes...say it. It won’t necessarily stop you from finding matches. If you are just looking for a casual date, don't imply that you are looking for marriage just to get more emails... it a waste of everyone's time. If you are looking for a long-term relationship don't think you can ‘convince’ a casual date to spend more time with you. You are heading for disappointment.

STRINGS. A study of female psychology reveals that women seldom look for a ‘no string relationship’. If it is a relationship it is bound to have strings. If you don't want strings, you are looking for an escort service. Women of all description can find casual physical relationships without lifting a finger. To mention that you are ‘seeking a torrid summer romance’ is fine and so is ‘I’m not eager to move in or get married’.
Ladies, this counts for you too. If your Personal Ad sounds like you might be offering paid sexual services you will get some rude offers. Avoid phrases like ‘looking for a wealthy man with good taste in jewelry’.

BE POSITIVE. And avoid negatives. This place has been provided to list what you are looking for and not all the things you don’t want. Turn your own lifestyle quirks into positives attributes. For e.g. If you are a workaholic your description could read something like ‘my career keeps me very busy, so I need someone with a flexible schedule for spontaneous one-day adventure’.

POST A PHOTO. It’s an established fact that a profile with a clear, happy picture is 80% more likely to get a response. Don't use a photograph that isn’t current... it isn't worth the rejection you will face later.

COMMUNICATE. It’s important to come across as a progressive individual who seeks growth. Say what you think and believe in, and would wish the other to know about your personality. Exploring new interests? Diversifying in Career Prospects? Passionate about something? These are the things that matter. Talk about what is important in your life. Highlight your positive points as this is what makes a profile interesting enough to be read.

PASSIONS. Listing ALL your favourite things can be a handful... Choose one good example and talk about why you like it. Choose something that gives the reader an insight into what you enjoy. You want people not only to be able to spot things you have in common, but also feel that there is something new and interesting to learn about you. Interest them in learning more with a teaser about a fascinating thing about you. Ask a question for them to answer via email.

Display your personality in a tasteful way, take all the time to do a good job, and put up a good photograph. These itself will get you far ahead of the remaining anonymous pack.

Priyesh & Sarikah

What do get when you take two people on two different parts of the country, two people with their own versions of a life to be lived, their own dreams, desires and nightmares, and yet have the potential of sharing an undeniable chemistry ?...nothing!
More often than not, some of the greatest love stories and the biggest happy endings get lost in the smog of ones daily drudgery, passing each other like ships that pass in the night.

The couple I am writing about would have shared a similar and who knows, maybe a worse faith. I know, I know, this is just a dating site and not The Lost Scrolls.

But for this couple, this site was more effective and definitely a bigger blessing than Cupid himself on his best day.

Name Priyesh. I met sarikah here for the first time. a few mails, phone calls, and wham.. less than a month off.. Shes here in Bangalore, all the way from Sikkim, with me. And I am sure I speak for the both of us when I say, that this is undoubtedly the happiest time of our lives.

So, today on the occasion of our first fight as a couple (another week and we will be sharing dentures at this rate, talk about being an old couple)...we would like to thank you guys for being ...hmmmmm ...just being there!

Thanks a lot guys... Hallelujah and God bless